Blabbing, not really making any sense of my words...

In five years, I have no clue where I will be. The thing about getting older is we never know exactly

where we are going to end up. Cliché as that may sound, it is true.When I graduated from highschool
I never would have guessed that I would end up where I am now. I have changed in so many ways and
so much has changed in regards to every aspect of my life. I am different since graduating from
high school and I am happy for that. It is the people we meet, the different places we go and sometimes

it is just getting away from what we always knew that helps us find exactly who we really are.

However different I am when I go home, it does not take away from who I am when I am in NYC. I am who I want to be, whether that is crazy or drunk or a lesbian, I can express myself, my true self.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but I also have a family in NY that I would be lost without; a

great family that shows me exactly what it likes to be loved for exactly who I am. In NY I can wear 
underwear without being asked questions, take the classes that interest me without being told
they have no value and be crazy just because I feel like it. My biological family is funny and crazy and
strange but I also feel like they do not know who I really am. There are parts of my life that I don't ever

talk about with my family; my sexuality, love interests, general interests. Like in therapy I seem to
over simplify most everything I say. I skirt around different issues, topics, stories. I pick and choose

the things that I say for fear of giving too much away. With my friends at college, now my roommates, everything seems so much easier to say. I have friends from home but it is not the same. They are truly
like a second family to me. It’s nice to feel I have someone to talk to and someone who doesn’t mind 
listening, someone I don’t mind listening to. To get back to my point which I have gotten away from,

you never know who you will be and who you will turn out to be. I feel more like myself than I did
only two years ago. As lost as we may be at one point there is always something waiting for us. I am
usually the pessimist, especially when it comes to romance and love.

I may be more fragile then I like to admit. Two years ago I never would have thought I would be an out

lesbian. I never thought I would be a political science major with a queer studies minor. I couldn’t have imagined I would have an apartment in the east village in NYC or that I would have an internship with
K.H. at my schools LGBTQA center. Without moving away and meeting the people I have I wouldn't
even have thought about being an advocate or realized my passion for politics and human rights.  Since

yesterday even I feel like I am different than who I was only a few days ago. Things happen and ideas
of who we are change daily, even hourly. Change is hard to accept and many times it is hard to
understand. It is hard to let go of the people we once knew even though many times they are really

already not there anymore. People change around us; our family, our old friends and ourselves.

Learning to change with the people we surround ourselves with is how we become who we are and
our real selves. What we have to do is learn to accept that change does not always just happen we have to learn to take initiative and make it happen even if we are scared to admit it is something we want.