Ignorance

It took graduating and moving to New York City to acknowledge the blanket of ignorance that sheltered my world throughout High School. What I knew was shaped by the little news I watched, the main headlines on Yahoo! and my father’s incessant conservative rants about the economy. I was young and had no need for the real world. I was carefree, simple and my only goal was to survive High School. As long as I had good grades, worked hard and got into college nothing else mattered. I grew up in a somewhat privileged house hold, in a prominent Connecticut town. I had a close group of friends and walked the halls of High School relatively unscathed. My only connection to the LGBTQA community was my best friend, who came out to me freshman year of High School. Although he was gay it was never a main topic of discussion; it was just the way it was. I have gay cousins, they were always just my cousins; so now, I had a gay friend, who was still, just my best friend. He liked men, the same way I was expected to like men. I wanted to think this was the way everyone saw it. It wasn’t.

In August of 2010, a large amount of articles about suicides and teen bullying, particularly gay oriented, began surfacing on the internet. I always knew that bullying was a problem and not everyone accepted people’s differences; but I let my ignorance, what I wanted to see, and what I wanted the world to be, cloud my judgment. After the attempted suicide of my best friend, who happened to be gay, I began to see what, for so long I didn’t allow myself to see. I realized my views weren’t the same as everyone else; I was the outlier. I saw my best friend as I saw everyone else and his sexual orientation was as important as my being left handed; it was just a difference that made him who he was. I supported my gay best friend without any questions and with unconditional love, but many people didn’t. He was bullied, harassed and pushed to the edge because he was just a little bit different. He and I had many discussions about the increased gay bullying and suicides that were surfacing in the news. I was shocked and outraged at the ignorance of other people. He would say “you’re really shocked?” Thinking back, I guess I wasn’t shocked; I just wanted to believe that everyone felt the same way that I felt. It never made sense that someone can hate someone based on a simple difference, whether it’s being gay or just out of the ordinary.

I got bullied and picked on throughout middle school and even through High School, for being loud, energetic and just a little bit different. My brother got bullied throughout middle school and High School, for being quiet, short and just a little bit different. My perception of bullying was, it happened to everybody; that it was just a normal phenomenon, and there was nothing that I or anyone else could do about it. I wanted that to be the truth so I wouldn’t be so alone. I never talked to anyone and no one talked to me about being bullied.  I was always told that I should just get over it, it happens to everyone and I shouldn’t let it affect me.

The internet is an easy place to target youth specifically by cyber bullying and Facebook bullying, or by posting derogatory and discriminating videos on YouTube. Today, internet is so accessible, it makes bullying that much easier. You don’t have to see the bullied face to face, it is impersonal; yet so personal. However, the internet can be used in both good and bad ways. Posting or sharing a video, like an “It Gets Better” video, can combat the many bad the things that are posted online. Just by sharing YouTube videos, like the FCKH8, ‘I Give a Damn’, and ‘It Gets Better’ videos can give, if not to many people, one person, piece of mind. Telling someone they matter, they are not alone, that people do care, goes a long way.

Being different makes you feel like an alien, a spectacle; you try to blend in but for some reason you always stick out. People like Dan Savage and Terry Miller, who created the “It Gets Better” Campaign took their stories and used them to show gay teens, kids, parents, everyone who needs it, that it does get better. That no one is alone. That campaign gained so much support after only releasing one video, its server crashed because so many people who are ‘different’ wanted to speak out and tell everyone that they really are not so different after all. So many individuals, couples and parents of the LGBTQA community, who are affected by bullying or discrimination, can get their voices heard and listened to, through the “It Gets Better” Campaign. It both raises awareness of the bullying problem and helps teach a new generation tolerance.

Campaigns like “It Gets Better”, “I give a Damn”, and “FCKH8”, all send the message that it is not okay to bully, harass, and discriminate against individuals who don’t fit into the white, hetero-normative, male/female, society that we have created. They raise awareness and help show LGBTQA individuals, their families, especially young, impressionable minds, that it is ok to be different; in fact, most people are.

Society and reality are what we make of it. The internet is a great way to increase awareness in non-conventional ways. There Facebook pages, twitter campaigns, viral articles and videos that show kids that it is okay to be different, it’s okay to be gay. By liking a page on Facebook you can show your support and care for LGBTQA youth, individuals and supporters. It shows up in your news feed and hopefully will reach your friends and their friends and so many others. The internet is like a row of dominos. Once one person posts something, it is there for everyone to see. It can do a whole lot of good. This is how understanding spreads and silence gets broken. I learned about the “It Gets Better” campaign by a friend posting the video on their Facebook profile. I then liked the ‘It Gets Better” Facebook page, shared it with friends, and when I find an article that is interesting and shocking or I feel is important to share, I post it on my wall, and sometimes my twitter.

My ignorance shielded me from seeing the real world, but it also shielded me from being able to speak out for my friends, myself and others. I now have an opinion about LGBTQA rights- Human rights, and I share it. Being different is a scary thing, because many times people are persecuted for it. The internet and campaigns like “It Gets Better” and others show that it is ok to be different and give a new perspective.

On September 22, 2010, less than fifteen miles from where I go to school, Tyler Clementi, a gay teen, jumped off the George Washington Bridge. In August and September 2010, five young openly gay teens committed suicide within a matter of weeks. The news seemed to pick up the stories of these five boys and others fairly quick. Pictures and articles about the boys circulated online through the Huffington Post, New York Times, the Advocate and other popular news sources. Twitter and Facebook statuses were posted. This awareness, helped spark the beginning of the “It Gets Better” campaign in September 2010. It seemed everyone, at least in New York City, knew about the gay teen bullying problems that seemed to be escalating. My eyes were pried open, day by day, post by post, article by article, video by video. These suicides were shocking, terrible, and most likely could have been prevented. In some of the “It Gets Better” videos, young, gay youth and others talk about the difference the campaign and videos like the “It Gets Better” videos have affected them and their lives.

The internet can be used in many ways; it can be used as a weapon but at the same time it can be used for good. As long as the good can reach one person, can prevent one person from swallowing a bottle of pills or jumping off a bridge, isn’t it worth it?

My outlook on life has changed a lot since High School, thanks a great a part to internet campaigns and my increased awareness. I have realized the blanket of ignorance that I relied so much on to keep me protected was really just holding me back. I can’t speak for everyone- I wouldn’t want to. The internet is a powerful thing. Through my experience, the internet has played an informative and increasingly helpful role in learning about the LGBTQA community. It has played a role in helping me come to realize, that it is OK to be different. The internet can bring awareness to people, whether or not someone wants to listen to a message is up to them. Raising awareness on the internet is not the only step that needs to be taken in bridging the gap between hatred and acceptance, but it can help. The internet is a way to speak out and I have come to the realization that speaking out, standing up and vocalizing support is important because silently supporting someone is not the same as supporting them.