As I grew up I did everything. When I say everything one
might think I am exaggerating but truly I did almost everything. I was not a
kid that could ever sit still. I would say maybe I still cannot sit still. Even
watching television I never just sit there; I get up and dance, do handstands,
get tea, listen to music (yes I know that defeats the purpose of television),
cook food, etc. I am a fidgety person and I like to be doing something somewhat
productive even if it is just typing nonsense on the computer while watching
television.
That said, I signed up for anything I could when I was a
kid. Until I was ten I played baseball, until they sent me to softball and I
did not want to play softball, I only liked baseball because my brother did it
and the ball for softball was too big. When I was four I started doing ballet
and jazz, along with soccer on the weekends. In second grade, when I was seven,
I wanted to do acrobatics and tap as well but my mom told me if I did that I
had to quit something else. So I gave up soccer because one of the girls on my
team bullied me and I just was plain bad at soccer. I started violin that year
as well, in school, pretty much the one thing I stuck with all through my
youth. When I was ten I was doing tap, ballet, jazz, acrobatics and the violin
but figured I had one afternoon free a week so I convinced my mom to sign me up
for gymnastics. Then in middle school we were offered the choice to play a band
instrument. I went from playing flute to clarinet, to both the clarinet and
bass clarinet and trying the saxophone because I thought I could be the next BB
King but never got into it. I then decided to sign up for guitar lessons, but
once again my mother gave me an ultimatum, guitar or clarinet so I quit
clarinet and started the guitar.
My schedule was always filled, and when I had free time my
hobbies seemed to change weekly along with all my extracurricular activities. I
got into knitting and even joined my middle school knitting club after school
(yeah I am that cool), I signed up for after an school cooking class in elementary
school, I still have 6 scrapbooks from my scrap booking days, I ripped up old
clothes and sewed new ones (including a pathetic tie skirt) until my sewing
machine broke, I briefly got into bracelet making, bead jewelry making, I even
tried pottery.
My parents never pressured me to do any activities, if
anything they had to cut me off because I tried to do so much. I enjoyed
everything I did even though I was never very good at many of the things I did.
I was not good at gymnastics, hence all the injuries, but I enjoyed it and made
a lot of friends within my team, so I stuck with it. I was okay at violin but
never amazing; again it was something to do. My scrapbooks were never anything
spectacular but they gave me something to do with my free time, my fidgety
hands, and all my old family photos. The only thing I created at knitting club
was a strangely shaped scarf, but it gave me something to do afterschool from
4-6 when my parents were still at work.
For a long time I resented my parents for not pushing me
into one thing. As I got older I realized I was never great at any one thing
and it upset me. By the time I was around tenth and eleventh grade I always
yelled at my parents for not making me choose one thing. I never really learned
guitar; even though I have about 2 years’ experience, I could only play about
three songs. I did so much that everything I did turned into a hobby, not
something I could say I was great at or be the best at.
As time goes on though, I realize I probably would never
have become a professional gymnast whether my parents pushed me into it or not.
I can cook, I may not be a professional chef but I can cook a meal when I want to.
I did so much, but it would not have been me if I had only chosen one thing to
do. I would have gotten board with it. No matter how much I wish I had an
amazing talent, not matter what my parents did, I probably would have been just
as angry if they had made me stick to one thing, than just let me do my thing.
I always remember the episode of Sister, Sister when Ray, the father, doesn’t want to pay for Tamera’s
softball uniform because she always quits things, and never sticks with one
thing for long. I always thought maybe if my parents made me do one thing, and
not ten things at once and quit to do something else maybe I would have been
better off, actually been spectacular or special at something. Just like Tamera, it was not me to do one thing all the time.
It has taken a long time to realize that it does not matter
if I am spectacular or special at something. I may not be a professional
athlete or super artsy, but I always enjoyed what I did whether I was good at
it or not.
Whenever anyone told me I was not good at something, I never
really cared, until I got older and thought maybe if did it longer or tried harder
I could have been incredible. I am not an artist no matter how hard I try or
how many drawing pads I get. That is okay. It does not mean I cannot just draw
because I want to.
It is only important that you enjoy doing what you are
doing, whether it is one thing or ten. Hobbies can change, stay the say, even
become a career, but they don’t always. That is something that I have begun to
learn. I did so much because I enjoyed doing it, and it kept me occupied. If I only
did gymnastics I would have resented my parents for making me choose one thing
because it just was not me.
Although this is a cliché, I am special in my own way. I may
not be great at only one thing, but I enjoy what I do, and that makes me who I
am.
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